|Kick-Ass Vol 1 #1|
|Series:||Kick-Ass Vol 1|
|First Published:||April, 2008|
|Next Issue:||Kick-Ass #2|
- "I always wondered why nobody did it before me. I mean, all those comic book movies and television shows, you'd think at least one eccentric loner would have stitched himself a costume. Is everyday life really so exciting? Are schools and offices really so thrilling that I'm the only one who ever fantasized about this? C'mon. Be honest with yourself. We all planned to be a superhero at some point in our lives."
- ―Dave Lizewski[src]
Dave Lizewski ponders the absence of costumed vigilantes in the real-world while "some Armenian guy" in a superhero outfit leaps from the rooftop of a skyscraper, fails to take flight, and plunges to his death on a car on the street below in front of a crowd of onlookers.
Months before and elsewhere, Dave, wearing a torn green costume, is tortured with "electrodes attached to his testicles" by three men who accuse him of costing them money.
Months before that, Dave describes his perfectly-ordinary high school existence: watching Scrubs, listening to the Goo Goo Dolls, and masturbating to his middle-aged biology teacher. He also pines for his classmate Katie Deauxma, who considered him a "fucking stalker" due to his affections. Notably, his life included nothing "to suggest the typical hero's journey"; his mother died from an aneurysm, and he and his father had moved on.
He debates comic book minutia with his friends Todd and Marty, and eventually strikes upon the idea of actually "putting on a mask and helping people." His friends call the idea "impossible" and "crazy," but Dave resolves to "follow [his] dreams and maybe do a little good at the same time" because he wants his life "to be exciting."
One night, he pretends to go to bed early because he feels sick before his father leaves for an overnight shift, then climbs out of bed once his father has left to reveal that he is wearing a green costume he purchased from eBay. He then pulls on a matching mask while musing that turning oneself into a costumed vigilante requires only "the perfect combinaton of loneliness and desperation."
Out in the city at night, Dave poses on rooftops and balances on walls; he begins wearing his costume under his clothes at school, and working out at a gym, and spends his evenings "coming up with cool superhero names." Eventually, however, "simply fantasizing" no longer satisfies him, and he sets out on a street patrol, encountering three gangbangers spray-painting graffiti.
He confronts the vandals, attacking one with a nightstick before another kicks him in the crotch; he breaks a bottle over one of the vandal's heads, but is quickly pummeled before getting stabbed in the chest. The vandals flee, and Dave stumbles toward the road where he is promptly run down by a car driven by a teenage girl who rushes away from the scene, leaving Dave shattered and bleeding in the street.
- unnamed gangsters
- unnamed taggers
- Katie Deauxma
- unnamed Armenian hero
- This issue was dedicated to Paul James Downie.
- Throughout the issue Dave and his friends talk about Marvel Comic properties, including the appearance of Galactus in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, the debate over organic versus engineered webbing in the Spider-Man films, and Joss Whedon's run on Astonishing X-Men – which Lizewski claims makes Whedon's work on Buffy "look like shit".